Caleb's Story

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The Story of how Caleb Came to Be

I was 44 and my husband was 50 when we found out we were pregnant with Caleb. Our daughter was 17 and we thought we were waaayyy done with having kids. Surprise! After a couple weeks of just being so tired I couldn’t stand it (and breast tenderness-the sign when I had my daughter), I decided to buy a couple pregnancy tests. You cannot imagine the shock and surprise as I, and then David, my husband, stood there looking at the little plus sign. Wow-starting all over again! Were we ready? (Insert chuckle from God here)

I was fairly physically fit and continued running throughout my pregnancy and really had no issues. We were SO excited! As were all our family and friends. I was the oldest maternity patient my OB had. J We went for monthly sonograms because of my age and at 20 weeks, had the nuchal fold test with the blood work. The neck thickness was within the limits, but my blood work came back with a slightly higher risk, although my risk was pretty high to begin with (1:33 or something like that). David and I declined an amnio because we were afraid of a miscarriage. Honestly, after a week or so, we forgot all about it and just went merrily on our way. About 34 weeks or so, I started to develop High Blood Pressure. Although I had many tests for pre-eclampsia, it was just really high blood pressure. Then they said he was breech. Then my amniotic fluid levels dropped. So at 36 weeks, they told me "today is his birthday". We were all very excited and I was more nervous about the c-section than anything else.

The section went fine and I remember when he was delivered, the room seemed kind of quiet and I had to ask "10 fingers and 10 toes?" before anyone responded. His apgars were great-9 and 10. They noticed (I read the chart afterwards) his eyes looked different and low muscle tone. If my OB knew, he didn't say anything. He went on vacation right after my delivery, so I didn't see him until 6 weeks later. The hospital pediatrician was the one who delivered the news to David the next morning. She was quite blunt-"I think your son has Down syndrome". Of course, he was devastated and was crying when he came to see me later in the morning. I was still kind of in a morphine fog when he told me "they think Caleb has Downs". I don't really remember any reaction other than, "well, OK, now what". I wanted to go see him right then and there. He looked great to us and we denied it back and forth until the official results came back (about 3 weeks later).

I remember the time in the hospital as one of isolation. Part of me just wanted to grab Caleb out of the bassinet and escape outta there. The geneticist came to see us and rattled off some statistics about something. I couldn’t tell you what he said. I wanted him to leave us alone. They gave us a book to read-it seemed out-dated. I prayed that things had changed in the 10 years since the copyright. We really didn’t know anyone with Down syndrome. We had no idea what being parents of such a child meant. Then one day, a nurse from another ward came to visit us. She had a foster son who had Ds. He was just a couple months older than Caleb. She showed us a picture and he just looked so cute and happy. This nurse-angel was the first person to really give us some hope that things would be OK.

Caleb had trouble learning how to eat, so he ended up staying an extra couple of days in the NICU after I was discharged. Those were tough days. We read the book “Babies with Down Syndrome” on the way back and forth to the hospital. It didn’t offer me much consolation.

It was an emotional up and down, especially not knowing for sure. We were hesitant to say anything in case he didn't have it, but were hesitant to be too celebratory. We did tell a couple family members. They really didn't know what to say, or would tell me "oh, he doesn't have that!" I remember the day I got the call from our Pediatrician with the results. David was at work and it was just Caleb and I. I shed a couple tears and we went for a walk. I told David when he got home. It was a sad day. It was a sad month or so. I resigned myself to learning more about Ds and watched the DVD-"Down Syndrome, the First 18 months". It was a lot of information to digest. I took in bit-by-bit and eased into books and websites. "Those kids" really looked pretty great and happy and smiling, and I thought, well, maybe this isn't the end of the world.

A couple days after Caleb was released from the hospital, we took him to Dr. Mary, our pediatrician. She picked up a heart murmur. Concerned, we were sent to visit a cardiologist. For me, that was such a scary time. I could take the Ds, but the thought of my newborn going through open-heart surgery was more than I could imagine. Thankfully, his conditions (ASD and VSD) aren’t too severe and the doctor is hopefully they will resolve on their own. I imagined God saying to us “Be thankful for your blessing!” and I most certainly was!

Well, here it is, almost 2 years after this story. My life has changed tremendously. Besides the fact that we are “older” parents, we are raising a child with a disability. Along with all the challenges and blessings that doing such a thing brings. Life is busy with therapy and workshops, but it is also filled with work and church and playgroups. With walks and trips to the park and wrestling with Daddy and Elmo. Normal, everyday stuff. We have some new friends now; friends I never would’ve imagined to have in our lives, but great friends and confidants none-the-less! Caleb is a happy, delightful child (and I’m not just saying that because I’m his Mom!). He is truly a gift and I cannot imagine him not being in our lives.

I would wish new parents the very best. It can be a long, medical road at times. It can be heart wrenching. It can make you wonder about just what makes life meaningful and worth living. What’s important and what’s not. But also, great happiness and yes, pride too. As with any child, good and bad times will come. Our advice? Just live each day as it comes.

God Bless,

Karen and David Prewitt